So my ex girlfreind of 3. Is now in a new relationship. She wrote me a letter telling me she is setting me free. After reading it I gave it back to her saying that I did not accept it. We have been split for about 10 months now. But because of where we work. I see her at least once every 2 weeks sometimes more. Her face lights up when sees me and always ask me for a hug and they are pretty great.
She also told me one night over coffee that she was in a new relationship. She cried so much when she told me this. But she also told me how she missed so many things about me. And misses making love to me. In the past 2 weeks we have seen each other almost every couple days. We have hugged immensely. She has even lied on top of me kissing me and then things start getting hot. To the point that it gets stopped because she says she does not want me to think she is that type of cheating woman.
She has never stopped telling me she loved me. The last 2 weeKS feels like the intensity of our love for each other has grown even deeper. She was in an emotional state when we were together as she ended her last relationship and we were together right after. Her ex has made it extremely hard on her and so goes the emotional roller coaster. She has also told me that the other guy sure doesn t kiss like me. These are things I don t want to here. She has told me that she does not love him.
And also that she is working on herself. Because of this break up. We both have learned lots and have grown to a different level of inner peace. The break up was actually a good thing. When she set me free. I never got mad. I was calm and told her that she needed to do what she needed to be happy. Her response to mine was that.
She never thought I d say anything like that. She has also told me how she sees me in a very different light in a very big way. As we both have changed for the better. Anyways,my mind heart and soul are like in limbo. I was doing very well before she sort of pop in 3 weeks ago. I m trying to go back on the path. I was on and let her be. Any takers on advise. Sometimes it s good to here a perspective from someone you Don t know.
Okay so me and my ex were together for two and a half years. We just broke up a month ago and we are trying to co-parent our two year old son. He is now in a new relationship with an old ex. There were together 5 or 6 years ago. He hid it but I found out. He says he soesnt want to be with me and that I am annoying. Our whole relationship we supported eachother and were like bestfriends. Now he is being a dick towards me. We both cheated under different terms so we mutually agreed to break up. Hes my sons father and I want to fix things so that we can be a family again, but he wont budge.
He told me that I was annoying. My ex and I were in a relationship for 3 years. He had been with a few other girls prior to us but they all just wanted him for sex. With us we were each others first real relationship. Well just days after we broke up he started seeing a new girl who is the total opposite of me. Is it possible to get him back. I was with my ex for 15 years. We had a problems and he moved out. We continued to being exclusive for about 6 month. Then i get a message saying we need to talk. It turned out he had been with a woman half his age. She works with him and is bi-sexual.
They have been together for a year now. What does this say. I still love him and forgave him long ago. Up until then he i would never have believed he would do this too me. Could it be a rebound or possibly a midlife crisis? Mine did the exact same thing after 14 years. To be fair our relationship was on the rocks anyway but instead of discussing it and trying to fix things for our childrens sake he cheated and lied about it.
Truth is no matter what the reason he is not worth it. Concentrate on moving forward without him and in time you will be far happier than you were when you were together. I was with my ex on and off for the last six years, we broke up three years ago after I found out he cheated. I was devastated packed up all my stuff and moved 7 hours away. After a month of no contact he begged for me back that was almost 3 years ago. This past year has been hell. I have acted bat shit crazy to say the least. I found out that he was on dating sites I lost my shit, he said it was for entertainment purposes.
I know this last year has not been healthy and we need to be separated for now. Well i went and saw him two weeks ago, we had a huge blow out fight. He met a bartender huge fake boobs and now is in a relationship with her. It has to be a rebound. What do I do. I love him and I want him back. Hi, My boyfriend broke up 10 days back. He broke up without stating the reason. Yes we did have had fights going on between us for about a month. We were in a long distance relationship 7 months but have been in a relationship for 3.
I called him on the 8th day and apologized happily.. Not sounding needy and tried to convince him for a next shot for the relationship. He said you should be aware of the fact that we are no longer in a relationship so whatever you want say, say it as a friend. I said even you had asked for many chances in the past so I also deserve this one atleast. But he did not listen and cut my call. When I talked to him, he complained about me not attending the phone. And talked general stuff. Asked me about how I was and mentioned that he likes a girl now at his new place.
He said I was not able to control. He also asked are we still friends…I ignored and drifted the topic to something else. But after that I have not received any msg or call from him. Is he serious about the girl or is irt a rebound? He is not ready to talk about our break up with any of our mutual friends too and also has not said about the new girl. This girl is completely opposite of me.
My ex broke up with me about 3 years ago when he moved away. He has not dated anyone else seriously since we broke up. I also have not been in serious relationship since we broke up, mostly because I was hoping to get back together, but those feelings have faded over the last 3 years being apart and having almost no contact. So my ex and I have been broken up for 3 weeks now, we were together for 9 months officially and on and off the last four years.
Me and my ex was together for 15 years off and on. He is possessive, jealous, and manipulate. He started dating someone the first week we broke up. He is never home and he stop calling and texting after a certain time. But he still text an call me to be with him. Me and my ex broke up almost 3 weeks ago. The funniest thing is that he started dating someone else 2 days after we broke up.
Close friend and I was very angry at him for that. Mine left me for complete opposite,been rubbing,bragging how happy he is. Then last night shows me picture of her proposing to him in sand. We were together 10 years. Proposing on the sand after one month! Going on a date with a gorgeous new guy tonight… skaterboy… looks a lot like the ex… but is SANE.
I laugh at these photos and wonder a who the photographer is and b what that first conversation between them and the ex must sound like: Can it still be a rebound after 3 months? My ex jus broke up with me after an almost 4 years relationship. Due to my work stress and financial problems as well as family problems, i was edgy for the past few months and threw tantrums at him, getting over sensitive and paranoid at small little things. He then broke up with me. I was told by a friend that about few weeks from our break up, he is going out with a girl and they are in the buddy stage.
She had also gone to his house so i assume they already have sex. Is this consider a rebound relationship. I ask him how long he knows this person? He said about 2 years. We were together 12 yrs.
I was getting by ok after the breakup until he felt compelled to phone me to tell me he was dating and already intimate. It hurts so bad. I think some rebounds relationships do work out. All signs point to a rebound. Guess he is happy after all or will it fall apart? My ex was with me for almost a year. I tried to fight for him n then chilled it.. He posted the gals pic.. Then he blocked me. I v not contacted him for a month now but two weeks back he unblocked mi n put a status available. I v his galfriends number. But of late I think they r having fights..
My ex is in a new relationship which shows classical signs of a rebound relationship. Could rebounds happen after a year of a breakup? Jennifer January 8, , 3: Lola November 1, , 7: Crissy July 20, , 4: Sha July 6, , 3: Melany April 5, , 7: I mean who makes their relationship official within a few days?! Xin June 30, , 9: Anon March 9, , 6: Louise February 23, , 2: Ariana December 27, , Mimi February 7, , 7: And Im not sure how to get him back cause he blocked me and they seem happy and inseperable now: Lucija December 6, , Comment has no one answered my commentary as above.
Could you e mail any answers please. Mary Cloi October 19, , 5: Harmony October 5, , Giselle August 3, , 5: Margo July 25, , Balto Uematsu June 22, , 3: Christy May 19, , 4: Socorro Piontka April 25, , Sian April 9, , 5: Guy March 29, , Jamesa Johnson March 25, , Kimi March 13, , 8: Linda March 7, , 3: Getbackupagain March 23, , 6: Willy February 27, , 9: Angie February 24, , ROSE January 24, , TM December 23, , 4: Trachita Riddick December 17, , Eri December 17, , 7: Angie November 13, , Susan August 15, , 3: Dating new guy and find it funny now November 1, , Sandy October 23, , Mark December 20, , Sophia October 4, , 4: Barb September 20, , 4: Paul August 28, , 9: Zo December 21, , 5: Sheryln Coleman June 21, , 1: AmyKate June 14, , Rain May 17, , 1: The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Mojo Media, Inc.
I'm still confused and really let this get to me in the 2nd half of NC. I'm also really hesitant about contacting again. Do you have any advice on where to go from here? Social media has the tendency to present a very false state of truth, where people post pictures or snaps of being happy or traveling the world, but actually have many issues they do not show.
Just like how you upload snaps of going out with your friends and looking happy, your ex might be doing the same. However, if he's seen all your posts and unfollowed you after, he might be curious to see how you've been doing, and may even start to feel confused.
That being said, he isn't about to just break up with his girlfriend immediately and jump back into your arms. Time is still needed for events to unfold, but for the meantime, you should focus on why you've been feeling worse lately and crying more, instead of waiting for him or thinking too much about the situation. The likelihood of her being in a rebound relationship is dependent on the type and length of relationship the both of you shared.
If things were serious and there was a meaningful relationship, it's possible that she is going through a rebound. But you also have to consider why the relationship didn't work out in the first place, because that would explain further how she feels about you. I would recommend letting her relationship run it's course, and you shouldn't interfere with it, as it may push her further away. In the meantime, focus on the potential issues you had as a partner, and work on improving yourself. That way, when you decide to contact her again, at least there's a significant change that she may notice from you, which further sparks interest.
My ex boyfriend and I dated for nearly 5 years. I was 18 when we first started dating. We had an amazing relationship, we both knew we wanted to be together as we discussed marriage and kids. However, over 6 months ago my feelings seemed to have changed for him, I told him about it and broke up with him We were great for 2 months however his family decided to cut me off because of what I did and treated me poorly.
I lost all my confidence, I lost direction and I just knew he could do better than me. So I broke it off with him again and this was just over 4 months ago. He was devastated, he tried so hard to get me back in the first month as he told me I was the love of his life. However, when we met up one night he told me he has slept with someone at his work and basically his feelings changed towards me. I stopped contact for 7 weeks. I heard nothing from him, so I contacted him because I found out he lost his job.
We started talking again, we went for lunch and he was shocked in how well I was looking so he was messaging me a lot to hang etc He told me he missed me. He kept snap chatting me since then and I found out he was seeing the same girl he slept with from work through mutual friends as he was taking her to coffee shops and shops my friends work at. I asked him about it and he said he has no feelings for her at all and that hanging with someone because he was miserable made it easier. He is constantly with her and they were together NYE.
I decided to cut him off social media along with his family. What do you think this relationship is? Because prior to cutting him off he was sill occasionally talking to me and always snap chatting me. As he told me that if I stop talking to him there would be no hope for us in the future.
I feel so confused. It could very well be a rebound relationship as he doesn't want to personally deal with the emotions of losing you, and decides to take comfort in someone else. If he is cutting you off right now, you shouldn't linger around and wait for him as you've tried reaching out once only for him to sleep with you then go back to dating the other girl. Hi I broke up with my ex on 20th December and i was really confused The thing is that i was talking to this guy, that i thought i liked, on a social media ig and even tho my ex told me he deleted my account from his phone, he lied and a few days ago, he saw the conversation and got angry and hurt But soon after i saw him doing the same thing, even worse.
He was flirting with another girl and he was acting the way he used to act with me when we were together. Right now, the best thing to do is to give him some space to cool off. He is acting this way clearly because he is upset at your actions and wants revenge. Never let that get the better of you, and just let him know that you're sorry once more before applying no contact.
I'm 19 years old, my ex is My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2,5 years. We broke up 6 months ago. One month after our break-up we kissed again at a festival and it was quite obvious that she wanted to get together again. She wasn't drunk when we spoke about this. However I wanted to slow things down a little bit just to give us some time to think about everything. Right after the break-up I wasn't really panicking or anything just because my friends and family took me out a lot and there was never a really a moment for me to actually think about what had happened.
The main reason why we broke up it was a mutual decision was the fact that I didn't give her much attention near the end of our relationship, as I was in my first year at university and I was quite concentrated on my work. I didn't know well how to manage my time, so we sort of lost connection. About 4 months after we broke up we started talking again and I realised that I still loved her. However, she told she had had sex with someone who then turned out to be a player.
We met a couple of times before I found this article and I told her that I still loved her. She said that she was over our relationship. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine told me that she really didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore and that she was interested in someone else who apparently doesn't even look at her in real life. I've been doing the NC-rule for about 25 days now. One day I accidently bumped into her at the supermarket and I didn't say anything to her so now she thinks I'm mad at her which a part of me is.
How should I consider the guy she's interested in and should I stick to the regular 5 step-plan from this website? At this point, you should take what things are happening at face value. You could always start off as friends first after your NC and just slowly build a connection back up if you genuinely still want her back.
But never put pressure on her to make a choice since right now, both of you are not together. We got to know each other really well, had common goals, and were even talking about marriage since that was very important to him I was hesitant because he would talk about getting married 2 years from now which was early for me.
We're both in school so things started to get stressful a month in. We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text. We started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn't feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it's like we hadn't fought. It felt like he really wanted to make it work.
He did mention this classmate he worked on a project with and went to her apartment. Both his exes cheated on him so he had trust issues so he said he would never do that to me or go behind my back. I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on I told my ex I wasn't interested but he didn't like it. Do you have any advice? It seems like he's trying to get back at you, and this girl is probably a rebound that was emotionally there for him during the times you guys were fighting.
If he really has nothing in common with her, they would not last. Also, based on what you told me and how fast they jumped right into things, it would seem like she's most likely a rebound. Focus on your life, improve yourself, even go on other dates. If you guys shared a meaningful relationship, it's unlikely that he would get over you so quickly. I'm just so confused. He just didn't seem like the type of guy to do that, especially since he would say I'd never do that to anyone since both of his exes cheated. But it was only like 2. I don't get it. I'm nervous because he started saying things like it wasn't love for us even though he thought it was and that we weren't compatible.
In the months of getting to know each other he would say we were a team and we had a lot in common. Hi, I posted earlier, but I don't think it actually posted bc I can't find my post now. He said he loved me, believes he is in love with me, and that I'm his best and only friend but I deserve everything I want and he doesn't think he's the guy to give it to me.
I'm the longest relationship he's had as an adult, the only woman he's said I love you to, and the only woman he's lived with. He has not had a serious adult relationship. However, 4 days later he was sleeping with a woman from work who is the exact opposite of everything he's ever said he's wanted.
She 37, mother of 4, divorced, uneducated, smoker, and a truck driver at the same dead end job he's at and hates so much and trying to leave when he's done with his master's. He's explained that she's nice and he's not just sleeping with her. That he likes her despite the ridicule he receives at work. He told me he prefers me over her and that she doesn't even come close to me so I am not to compare myself. We agreed I would move out in June, so he has since moved out and he found a rental close to her.
She is already posting on facebook that he's the one. Meanwhile, every time he comes to maintain the property he tells her that I'm not here and he proceeds to hug, kiss, and spank me playfully. I told him if he really liked her then he would be honest with her.
He agreed that he doesn't want to be that kind of man for anyone. It sounds like he got a case of cold feet, but I'm not sure. He seems to be doing everything in his power to make it work with this woman who is so obviously a poor replacement of me but also an excellent distraction from him having to deal with our breakup and lovers and best friends. In fact, he still admits that I'm still his best friend and he can't talk to her as openly and without defense as he can with me. I don't want to be the other woman in his relationship, but is this a rebound even if he's trying to do everything right and take her wishes into consideration?
Also, am I being wishful in assuming he got a case of cold feet? Do I proceed with no contact? I've been doing my part in bettering myself. Every time he sees me he tells me how great I look and that our breakup suites me. I've told him I went on a date to which he showed jealousy and admitted it but then shook it off saying he can't really say anything considering what he's doing himself. Is there hope for us? There might be hope for you, but not right now.
If that relationship he's in is a rebound which it sounds like , then you should not continue to stay hopeful in one place but at least move on a little, so that you don't constantly think of it. I would suggest proceeding with NC and just in general, moving on with life for the moment. I appreciate the feedback and I'll continue to work on myself. Actually, I'm feeling better about myself everyday.
It wasn't a bad breakup and we both remained respectful and civil with each other. There's love there, I'm just not sure whay kind of love it is, romantic or friendship. But I'll move forward as though it's done and let him figure out what he wants in life. Meanwhile, I'll just get back to being who I was before I dedicated my life to him and his well - being. Hey Ryan, I was with my ex for 9 years. He proposed in may and things seemed fine. Maybe a little stressful with wedding planning and me being in school and working full time.
Then around mid october out of nowhere he states he's unhappy and he's been unhappy for a while and that I treated him like shit for 9 years. I know I can be snappy at times and I begged for the first couple of weeks to give me another chance and to work on each other but he would just say that he gave me so many chances.
In the back of my mind I always had this gut feeling about this girl that he was working with. Since last november I told him I felt uncomfortable with him being friends with her. Last December someone actually made a fake facebook account and messaged me how close the two of them are and how they hung out before school all the time. When I confronted him he said some crazy person at school was starting rumors. Fast forward to the present I found out that they have been talking and he went to her for our relationship advice and they both got feelings for each other.
I caught him at her house and she met his family 3 weeks after we broke up. I know this has been going on for a while so I am unsure if this is still considered a rebound. He lied to me and his friends about the girl and is still trying to hide her. He told everyone that he and the girl were going on a break to prove to everyone that he did not break up with me for her. Over the next month and a half I have been seeing a therapist and things seemed to be going okay with my ex and I.
He would always be the one to initiate the conversations and we went shopping, dinner, and the movies a couple of weeks ago and things seemed great. He even texted me how much fun he had. He just keeps saying he is scared to give me another chance and doesn't think that I will change. He would go back and forth every couple of weeks. An example, I was in Miami one weekend and he was constantly texting me and his friends telling us that he wanted to work it out.
As soon as I told him if we are trying to work on each other then he would eventually have to find work somewhere else he flipped out saying I was trying to control him. He obviously still wants to be with this girl and is now using the excuse "I'm working on myself. I have not spoken to him in a week. I am just afraid that not talking to him is bringing him and the girl closer together.
Do I continue with the no contact and is this girl a rebound or not? He would think you aren't capable of change because you're still in relatively constant contact with him and just like it's hard to tell if someone lost weight if you saw them everyday, this works out to be the same - change can't be seen clearly if you see the person or talk to the person constantly. I suggest proceeding with NC to actually work on any issues you had to become an improved version of yourself first.
This girl could be a rebound but it really depends on the situation was he cheating all this while or only started dating her after the breakup. Honestly, in this situation, you might want to mentally prepare to walk away because if he can't even be honest towards you or his friends about this, you might find it hard to trust him on future occasions if you guys were to work things out. I just think he's using the excuse I won't change because of the girl.
Clearly if the girl wasn't in the picture we would be able to work on our relationship and you would think he would want to give me another chance because he did propose. I have not spoken to him in 2 weeks other then just saying merry christmas yesterday. I do not think he physically cheated while we were together but he did emotionally cheat. He was talking to her over the past year when I asked him not to and he would lie about it. He apparently saw her in the summer with another coworker and I had no idea and her number was changed in his phone.
He caught feelings for the girl and other then stepping back from the situation he kept going on with it. I had all his passwords so I could see what he was doing with the girl and that is how I caught him because he was lying to everyone about her. Now I really don't know what is going on because I'm kind of starting to not care. I still want to keep up with the no contact and see how that goes. Hiii okay I need some advice So I dated my boyfriend for 3 years, we moved in together at the beginning of this year.
We had a difficult relationship - I cheated once, he cheated a few times. We broke up for a week or so last year and then we got back together and decided to start fresh, no more cheating or anything we were gonna be serious. Then we moved in together a few months later. He has used this as leverage and an excuse to cheat throughout our relationship. About a month ago he told me he cheated again - we broke up. For a week I had to live there and he was so cold, didn't talk to me or see me.
He was plain rude. Then I moved out and he came running back, saying he regretted everything and he still loves me and wants to work it out. I went away on a trip for 3 days, when I came back he told me he doesn't know what he wants and he has met someone else who makes him really happy. It's been a month and I have not talked to him since. So far, he has proceeded to delete me and all my friends on Facebook, but he's still making pointed posts like "it sucks when you give your all to someone and they don't do the same".
This morning, I discovered he made a post on instagram with This new girl and captioned it "I have never been so happy, it keeps getting better and better with you". He had been following me on instagram up until this morning - so he made a post and then unfollowed me. I don't necessarily know if I want to get back with him, he has really hurt me and I don't know if were right for each other. However I still really love him and im hurt that he possibly moved on so fast. Does this sound like rebound behavior? If I decide I want to be with him and try to get him back, what steps should I take?
Your advice is appreciated!! What you're describing sounds a lot like rebound behavior and isn't something you should be too worried about. If he could latch on and run back to you the moment you walked away, and yet latch onto someone new as easily when you're gone for a couple of days, it doesn't sound like it's a person you can feel secure with for a prolonged period. That's just my opinion and if you genuinely want him back as opposed to moving on , it's something you need to be mentally prepared for. In the meantime, I would suggest applying No Contact and first focus on picking yourself up before deciding again what you should do.
Hi Im Mary and i am quite confused of what this guy whom unfortunately I love so much wants. We are in a long distance relationship and he left me last September telling me that he cannot bear the distance anymore and that he needs a gf that is physically available. It was the worst heartbreak I experienced in my whole life and it left me shattered. Even after the breakup we still communicate as he always wants to be friends. After a month I felt tired and all I know was that he finally found someone else. I didnt contact him for almost a month but now he is coming back to mylife again saying that he misses me still.
Now i am confused if this guy is even worth loving for after all what he did or is he just trying to fool me around again knowing how much I loved him so hes taking an advantage? It could be either reasons. You know him better than anyone else. I would suggest that if he could walk away once over lack of physical contact, as long as nothing changes aka you moving to be with him or vice versa , it could easily happen a second time. Be fair to yourself and think this through on whether it's worth it. I broke up with my girlfriend in August, after dating for 7 months. She pleaded to have me back shortly in September, and after thinking about it for awhile, I regretted it and wanted her back.
It's normal that people seek comfort in others when they're upset, which is why rebounds exist in the first place. Right now she may be feeling conflicted as opposed to directly jumping into the rebound because you're still in the picture and on relatively good terms with her. If you're certain that you can make the relationship work and not go back into the same cycle as before, I don't think you should treat the guy as a rebound where you have to back off and not interfere but rather as fair competition where you're trying to win her heart once again. Three months ago, my exboyfriend and I broke up.
We were together for a year in a long distance relationship. I don't even know who broke up with who. I was feeling unloved and I told him. I thought we would try to work things out. However, he took it as if I was saying he was wrong or that it wasn't working. He said he was going to answer me but he didn't. After some texts and after time of not talking, he suddenly met someone else when he was travelling. Everything between them went so fast. He wrote about having a soul connection and about true love in a few days after meeting each other.
I saw their interaction through social media and I could see how fast everything has been moving between them with me everything went pretty slow and it took him forever to tell me he loved me and things like that. She is nothing like me, she is totally different both physically and in interests. She is almost 20 years younger than him. I feel they are really into each other and I am sad because I thought he would think things through and get back together. The confusing part is that after he came back from his trip and of meeting her , he started texting me.
We talked and he seemed to be sad. He told me "I have been ok" instead of great as he looks on his pictures. He has been texting me, to say nothing important. I don't understand why. Is it because he felt guilty? Is he trying to be friends? Also, after we talked for the first time in a long time, I posted a picture with a guy I met. I didn't have any intentions of doing so, but that day he sent me a super friendly text. I don't know if it was because now it seems that each one of us moved one or could it be that he is still interested?
Why does he want to start and keep talking? He could be confused and undecided on what he wants at the moment, and the other girl could be a rebound that sparked while he was trying to cope with your 'breakup' seeing how you said that she was nothing like you. It could be that he keeps wanting to talk to you so as to not let you go, since his spark with the rebound may have been a holiday romance.
Hi, so i was dating this girl for about 2 years and we loved each other very much. We spent everyday we could together. I slipped up and cheated on her with another girl. I then told her about what had happened and she became super angry and slept with a guy to hurt me. She told me right after she did it to make sure i felt the pain. I obviously want her back because I acknowledged my mistake but now she does not want to talk to me. She is now with the same dude and is posting alot about him on social media for me to see.
I want to commit to fixing our relationship but understand that she is not in the best state of mind to talk. I'm going to start no contact for at least 45 days and see what happens. I'm pretty sure she still loves me and is just rebounding. Any suggestions or concerns i should be worried about? At the moment, leave her be no matter how painful it may be to see them together and during this NC period, spend time focusing and improving yourself as a person.
Give her that space to calm down and let her relationship with the guy fade out before coming back. Thanks Ryan, I will follow what you have instructed. So say i do NC and i message her and shes still upset with me, is there anything i can do? Also, I have a strong belief that she is scared to come back to me because of how bad i hurt her. Im pretty sure this girl is my soulmate.
If you're really sure that she's your soulmate and you're willing to wait, if after you apply NC and she is still upset with you, that means that it may be still too soon and you have to give her even more time, continuing with NC for as long as necessary. Hey Ryan, I just wanted to clarify that if my ex is still with her rebound after my 45 no contact period, that i should still not contact her until the other guy is gone?
Also, do you have any other tips on what to do in the time being. Well, it would be better not to, although if she contacts you first, perhaps you could always start off as friends. In the meantime, focus on improving yourself as a person. Take up a new hobby, get a climb on your career, go out with friends, even date around again. The last thing you want is to be caught still stuck at the same place down the road when she's moved way ahead of you. Thanks Ryan, I have moved on and I have been hanging out with other women. I don't believe my ex has moved very far ahead due to the fact that she never really dealt with our breakup rebound.
It's frustrating to watch her make a fool out of herself with this new guy, her friends and others all question why she is still with him. Hi Joe, unfortunately it's hard for you to do that without coming across as desperate and wanting her back. If you're on talking terms with her, you can always advise and tell her to be cautious of the relationship but I wouldn't do more than that.
She was the one to break off the relationship. Although, I was devastated and tried convincing we can make things work, I came to a point that of not replying to her because she was blabbering non-sence in her final set of msgs. I went to a NC, and after 2 months she contacts me again. I took it slow and talked with her. And understood that she is showing interest. However, after a while she went cold again. The same happened again twice within a period of 4 months. This was taking me through an emotional rollercoaster.
But however, I went NC again. About a month ago, she send me a msg again asking how I am. I started to talk to her, she was really nice and comforting but with time she went cold again. Unfortunately, I became a bit needy this time around. But recently I've heard that she seeing a guy. I'm hearing that she rushing into progress with the new guy. So what I your advice on this to me. I suggest you leave them be and continue with NC indefinitely. If she's in a rebound, she will eventually break up with the guy and the rushing into things may be a way to compensate for any negative emotions she might feel against you.
The whole point of going into NC is to allow you to recover from any emotional hurt you might have faced as well as improve yourself. It's hard to do that if she keeps coming back to you but leaving you short each time. Even if you want her back, you should be at a point where you're okay if she's back in your life, but also okay if she's not before trying for anything again. Thanks Ryan, Appreciate the fact that you had time to respond to me. Could I ask you why she's showing this kind of behaviour even though its been like 9 months since the break up?
There may still be underlying feelings of resentment towards you regarding the overall negative emotions she felt during the relationship, but it's only speculation on my part. If you really want to know for certain, the only way is to actually ask her about it. That just hurt me really bad so i told him, "is that really the reason why?
Well at the moment, there isn't much you can do because of it's never right to break a relationship up. If they're together, and has resorted to even blocking you on social media platforms, then it would better for the time being that you also move on. In the future if he ever breaks up with her and you still want him back, then perhaps you could try again but right now, I suggest applying the no contact rule. My girlfriend and I broke up in July, she was having some family issues, she gave me the reason that she wasn't good for me, that was why the breakup happened, so she isn't going to hurt me.
I followed the NC rule for 3 weeks, everything seemed to be working, she said she wanted us back, but she needed time. In October, she started dating someone. I'm about to follow the NC rule for second time, hoping it will work. If she says that she wants you back but got together with someone else, perhaps you could try to understand why it happened. Yes, apply NC again and don't interfere with their relationship and if it's a rebound, she will break it off eventually.
However, you shouldn't stay in one place for this period either not moving on and at least spend this time focusing on yourself by doing things like going out with your friends, perhaps even date again, and when the next opportunity presents itself if it does , at least you'll be emotionally prepared for it. Hello, I've noticed my situation maybe a little more entangled then some. My boyfriend and I have live together sharing a house for almost nine years.
He suffers from bipolar disorder and has recently been going through Cycles very quickly. He had met a woman on a singles website that he became friends with. Whenever he was feeling less than adequate or he and I were arguing he would go to that woman for validation that he's a great person and he's right. A long story short, we've been going through some very trying times and even the loss of a child. He is what I call a chronic Runner, always running from his problems and never facing hard feelings and emotions.
About six weeks ago we got into a terrible argument. He packed his things and he moved in with this woman. I still live in our home and we still communicate pretty much every day. He states that they are in a relationship because he feels he needs to stay at her house and he doesn't want to rock the boat. He says he wants his own place and is looking for a townhome. He is very interested in what I'm doing and my well being.
He has told me numerous times that he is still very much in love with me and that he does not love her at all. He likes her and appreciates the things that she does for him like allowing him to stay in her home. He lies to her and comes over here and we'd even slept together. Both of us are grown he is almost 50 and I am Neither of us want to hurt anybody but I would love to work things out with him.
Do we know contact is not going to work for us because as I stated we share a home together and most of his belongings are still here. I will not prevent him from coming to his own house or even make that suggestion. It could be cause to feel paranoia that exist from his bipolar disorder. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated. He's extremely concerned that I might start dating and fall in love with someone.
I've explained that I'm just not ready for this. He feels a lot of regret that he is living with somebody else but at the same time he knows he does not want to live in this house whether I were here or not. What steps do I take at this juncture? We are both very much in love with each other and he even mentioned that he thought perhaps this was just a break that we need but in my mind it's not doing anything to deal with the issues we had.
Thank you for your time and I hope to hear back. Since no contact and asking him to move out is out of the question, perhaps at a later given date when everyone has more or less calmed down from the situation, sit down and have a talk with him regarding the issues you guys faced and how you can work together to solve them. More importantly, he definitely has to let go of the other woman if you guys want the relationship to work since that will only serve as a constant obstacle and something for him to run to every time an issues arises.
Hey Kelvin I was with in relationship for almost 2 years. Everytime she given me a chance result was the same We fought And always I break her.
Now finally she decided to end up the things on 18 Oct from 18 Oct to 21st Oct she was thinking why she has done this But I called her everytime she said she want some space and time still I called her Now she is just irritated with me On 23rd I said that I will not call you Now what I will do Does she will really miss me. I suggest you give her the space she wants and don't apply too much pressure on her. You've been together for two years and there's a chance she still loves and misses you but let her be the one to say she's ready. And if you do get back together, please work on your recurring issues to make sure the relationship lasts this time.
Dear Mr kevin please help me out, I have had been dating a girl for 5 months, she even told me that she will get married to someone else because she is a Muslim, for some time she got confused between me and him, but eventually decided to end with me after seeing my conversation on FB with my exes, I did not tell her about my past casual relationships, though I really am serious for her and think she is the last girl in my life.
I don't know what to do, but I really think I can't live without her, as far as no contact is concerned, I fear she might get engaged in a month, which she planned to postpone few weeks ago. She did ask me to live happily n let her go for her happiness before things got worse between us,the guy she's gonna marry is also professionally senior to me. I told her I rely love her and will wait for her forever but she's says she doesn't gives a damn n would never trust me coz I have been in many relationships before, moreover my ex did also call in front of her for no reason n she even doubted that.
I really love her, please help me. She even told me she is not going to cheat him by even talking to me or else he will be shattered n he left his girlfriend to marry her,things are all complicated. Right now, by going back to her, you're going to come across as needy and desperate and this will push her further away. If she is indeed planning to get married, your best bet would be to focus on recovery and working on yourself.
If she really loves you, she will come back eventually but it isn't something you should pressure her into because that doesn't work. I suggest applying the no contact rule in order to give yourself some distance from the situation and this might help you gain a fresh perspective. My bf and I were together for 1. We were really good together and had great chemistry. Two weeks ago though he break up with me because he said that he's not in love with me anymore.. On September I had to move out of town and the plan was that we were gonna be in a LDR for this year.
By the beginning of June we were gonna live together. We were in our first month of LDR when he realised that he loves me but is not in love with me. It shocked me to hear that and after a lot of talking he finally admitted that he felt an attraction for another girl.. I knew her and I can guarantee you that there was nothing going on between the two of them before I left. Actually we were crazy in love while I was still there. I'm sure about that. Anyway, I accepted what he said. I even told him that I would block him on fb cause it wound be to painful for me to see him with her.
He said he understands. He did asked me to be friends but I said no. Eventually we said our goodbyes and I haven't contacted him ever since. I've stuck to the no contact rule. And then he posed a pic of his with her as his new gf. And of course he didn't do it on fb.
No, he posted it on Instagram. Now I just unfollowed him on Instagram, because 1 he hadn't posted anything at all. He had 0 posts and never really cared about it and 2 because he told me that he would delete the account. So I didn't thought it was necessary to block him there too. So imagine my surprise when my friend showed me that pic.
Another thing I have to nention is that on fb we had no common friends. But on Instagram my friends follow him, and so does some of my family members.. So there was no way that I woudn't found out about his first post. And it was really out of his character! He never uploaded pic of us. And we were together for so long I know it sounds crazy but I fell that he did it on purpose.
Like he is angry at me because I haven't contacted him ever since the break up and wants to hurt me now or something.. Perhaps in situations like these, it would be best to actually ask him so as to not leave yourself jumping to conclusions? It may be likely he is currently going through a rebound which you can read up more here Long distance can be hard and if he can't be honest with you, it will also be very hard to initiate anything or progress. First complete the no contact period to give yourself some space.
Kevin, my ex cheated on me then dumped me for this person. They have only been dating for a month but already she says that she feels he is the one. Yet she said that she still feels that way about me. After reading this, the signs point to this being a rebound and that's somewhat comforting. She's rubbed him in my face, she's staying with him.
This person is the total opposite of me in every way. Recently she told me that we should be friends at first and slowly work towards getting back together. I agreed to it, as long as we get back together. She already knows I want to. I want to believe there's hope but she hasn't messaged me in days.
Do I do the no-contact routine again or what? If you have not done no contact till now, then you absolutely must do it for at least two months. She cheated on you which is a huge betrayal of trust. Even if you get back together, it will be hard for you to trust her again. Right now, you just want her back out of desperation and fear of losing her forever. These are not good reasons to get back together. Take your time and think things through. By doing no contact, you will also show her that you are not desperate to get back with her, which is going to make her more attractive to you.
It might even make her think about her actions and regret what she did. I was dating my collegue for about a year i felt like he was pulling away and things were changing. So i went onto no contact with him. He tried reaching out to me after 10days but I did not reply him.
After my no contact was over I tried messging him with a nice memory we shared it did not show any needeness or any sign that I want him back. But there was no reply from him. I waited for another 5 days and sent him a text still no reply. Why is he not responding?
Did he loose intrest in me? Is he so mad at me that he is not reafy to speak with him at all? What should I do now? Yes, it does seem like he is mad. You should do no contact again for a couple of weeks. The next time you contact him, don't send a nice memory or a casual text. Instead, use a serious text. Something like the elephant in the room text mentioned in this article. My ex broke me up a month ago now but we still keep in touch. We were so happy before and all of the sudden he found another girl. I know him he cant live with only one woman. I lived with him for many months and I took care of him like we were a couple.
Yes what he did was very humiliating, insulting and embarrasing. The lovely things he said to me before now after meeting the girl was totally opposite. He knows I love him so much. Lately, he said to me that the girl is a total opposite of me. But I dont believe him because he keeps lying to me. He wants to still keep in touch of me but I am not getting any affection from him anymore.
One time he asked me if I still like him or love him. I dont feel the respect anymore. Even if he said I am better than the other girl but they still keep seeing each other. I am now trying not to contact him. I kbnow I want him back and I know how unstable he is emotionally. What will I do? I was seeing this guy for 14 months. I love him and I know he loves me. Our plan was to move in together at the end of summer.
During our relationship he would get mad over simple things and tell me that our relationship wouldnt work but he always came back. This time he left and immediately started seeing some one less than two weeks later. I never contacted him at all and on Mothers Day he texted me. He says only to see if I had a good day. Of course the texting turned into my telling him that I loved him and wanted to be together. I was always very open and honest to him about my life and everything going on but he never truly opened up to me about anything.
Now he is saying I always kept him at arms length which is so untrue. He is still seeing this other girl. It is close to a month that we broke up He always broke up with me thru text messages never face to face. I havent texted him since sunday and it is now wednesday and he has texted me twice Kevin, got out of a drastic relationship after 5 years in December Jan met this girl but I was heartbroken.
Kept her on hold for two years and now she dumped me the day I declared. Follow the 5 step plan. No one can say for sure if you have a chance or not, but if you think she is worth it, you should definitely try. Good day, I have stumbled upon this site looking for answers. I was in a Long Distance Relationship with the most wonderful Girl recently, we talked and saw each other for about a year, but due to Life, it slowed down. Then out of the blue, she said she wasn't ready for it, which we were going as slow as we could.
So I drove Five hours out of my way to find out what was happening and as it turns out she has found herself a new guy, who just "kinda showed up", and that she doesn't want to talk to me or even be my Friend, because she doesn't want to hurt us anymore than what she has. I really don't know what to do or think. I've looked at your Five Steps to Breakups and don't know. I don't even want to talk to her, but I want her back and things just seem to fall apart without her. If you get the time to read through this, please, reply, I need help.
I am sorry you are going through this breakup. I recommend you follow the Ex Back Permanently Plan. Me and my boyfriend got together at 18 and in a relationship for 2 and a half years before he broke up with me two months ago very suddenly, we were very happy so i wasn't expecting it. He told me his reasons were because he's not enjoying work hes feeling low and just cant be in a relationship right now. We saw eachother a few times after the break up just so i could ask some questions but when we met it was so nice we just caught up with eachother and had a laugh.
Ive been using nc now for about 2 weeks. But it looks like he might be seeing someone hes know her his whole life, they breifly dated when they were 13 and have mutual friends and work near eachother im now questioning his reasons for the break up and if he actually rekindled with her or they started to talk after the break up. Is there any chance this could be a rebound? And do i have a chance of winning him back over? I feel like hes over me and moved on.
If they just briefly dated when he was 13, then there's a good chance it's a rebound. You do have a chance of getting him back. But you should still do no contact and learn to be happy without him before trying.
I was her rebound guy Now she is in new relationship She broke my heart in peaces And now 4 months later im still in shit and she is in love with him Oh Heck noooooo, If she's in a relantionship and having sex with some whatever, move on, leave, get yourself a nicer one, there are better ones believe me, let her keep on rebounding for the rest of her life then. Kevin, Ive done everything wrong, I really wish I had read your article a month ago. When I found out my ex was in a new relationship I was still struggling with the breakup. I got drunk and I sent very angry messages to both of them.
I was so upset, I didnt play it cool at all. Im pretty sure from what Ive read here that Ive only pushed her further into his arms.
Is there any coming back from this? Im one week into No Contact now, but i think im going to have to wait at least 2 months. My ex gf broke up with me at the end of November and found out she was on Match a month later. We started talking very briefly via texts a month ago and she'd respond to my texts but never initiated.
I tried asking her to get together to catch up but she said she doesn't think that's a good idea yet because she's currently happy with someone else. I didn't get upset or show jealousy just told her ok and to remember if she needs an ear I'm here for her. Now I've decided to not contact anymore. My question, if this is a rebound is better to not interfere or to keep in touch with her during?
Many conflicting advice online, one source claims I need to keep in touch so she develops a stronger emotional bond with me before her new guy can. If she is cold towards you, you should do no contact for a while and let her initial honeymoon period get over. If she is not cold towards you and you have already done no contact, then you can stay in touch with her. How would I know when the honeymoon phase is over to contact again? When I had suggested getting together to catch up and she said it wasn't a good idea yet I told her no problem don't be shy to suggest it sometime.
Should I just not contact at all until she does?
It usually takes a month or two. I'd suggest you do wait at least one month. If she doesn't contact you, then you should contact her. Hi Kevin My ex and I were daing for 7 months. Had a wonderful summer together. But there were a lot of problems throughout our relationship. He is a very needy guy and very jealous guy. He broke up with me cuz I hurt him about things that he's exaggerated about and jumping to conclusions and a lot of miscommunication. Towards the end, he contacted me after we broke up wanting to see me and messing with my head.
Like he didn't want to work things out but he didn't wanna let go either. I couldn't take it anymore, I blocked him out of my life. I had too in order for me to move on. I was in shock and it hurt me so much!!! I ran into him at a bar, he was with friends, didn't see his new girl with him at all.
However, you shouldn't stay in one place for this period either not moving on and at least spend this time focusing on yourself by doing things like going out with your friends, perhaps even date again, and when the next opportunity presents itself if it does , at least you'll be emotionally prepared for it. So say i do NC and i message her and shes still upset with me, is there anything i can do? On the other end of the spectrum, there are exes who will try to hide their new relationship from you. The immediate need for connection and support will be met. I was on and let her be. It turned out he had been with a woman half his age. In any case, whereas she said out of the blue "we will never see each other again" around new year, wanting to meet in person is progress.
One of his friends said he saw me and left cuz he didn't want me to be uncomfortable. That just hurt more! I read about rebound relationships, is he in one? I felt more Luke I may have been a rebound from his last relationship. That ended 6 months before we started dating. He's had feelings for me for 2 years before we got together, but he was rushing the relationship when I wanted to take things slow.
My questions are, is he rebounding with the new girl?